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Thursday, July 31, 2008

A Full Circle…

I have this feeling,
That in between 2003 to 2008,
My Life has been mainly filled with a hidden sense of depression,
Something hidden in the world of my own,
That didn’t wish to be seen, felt, or be found.

How should I put it ……

When there are Expectations weighing on your shoulders,
When people have Hopes pinned on you,
There is an invisible Pressure on you to fulfill your so-called duty.

And depending on how your family,
Your teachers,
Your friends,
And most importantly, how your personal aspirations failed to materialize,
There is a Massive Stone that will find its way into you,
And this burden you will carry,
For as long as you cannot let it go.


I can say that this Stone of mine,
Has been Lifted and Dumped in some deserted corner,
And hopefully stay that way.

While I look @ the different doors in front of me now,
I recalled a certain teacher back in Junior College,
Who said,
“You will never succeed in Singapore without a proper Degree”

While the Job Market says so,
There are still numerous opportunities out there for the DETERMINED,
To still succeed in a different capacity.

That being said,
I still have to thank her,
Because, the very statement that she said,
Is the same motivation I strive to Prove people wrong.

Friday, July 25, 2008

The DAMN long UPDATE that those who wishes to KNOW,
How have I’ve been…

Let’s start.

First off,
Graduated from NYP with Dip in Sport & Wellness (merit)
Awarded the adidas Silver award (since I finished second behind Stacy)

Finally finished my NS LIABILITY to the SAF.
Singaporean Male – have to defend his nation
National Service.
Operationally-Ready Date à meaning you can now ready to fight a War,
Or at least be Deployable in an Operation / Mission.

And then,
Applied for university places both domestically and on greener patches of pastures out there.
I can only conclude that,
The LOCAL SYSTEM (as in almost everything)
Is trying SO HARD to attract the right FOREIGN TALENTS,
Yet at the same time creating so much GLASS CEILINGS and GREY AREAS in the workplace,
That there is no WONDER that most Singaporeans are heading overseas,
With the view of not coming back.

If you wish to make Singaporeans happy
Keep your promises / not wasting time decorating all the HDB estates this NDP
Keep your promises / whatever is mentioned in RALLIES and GOVERNMENT policies and the REGULATIONS, pls….exercise some effort ….

Comes the IRONY.



So … the last thing…
Will be looking for a nice place to WORK.
Somewhere really NICE
Somewhere my talents and contribution is not only recognize
Not in terms of the FINANCIAL BENEFITS.
Let’s AIM higher… Emotional and Social Well-being in the Organization
How about that ?

And to finally fulfill my first ever ambition,
Turning professional in Soccer,
And playing for the one and only club that I have ever supported.

LFC – YNWA !!!

until....(another post in a few more mins ?? )

When you are lonely, who would you think of ?

Was singing this song a couple of days ago @ K Box….
And it prompted me to think a little out of the BOX.
Whenever we are lonely,
Or when we are not doing anything in particular,
There will be someone who we will think about.
It could be that ‘Special Someone’,
Your shopping buddy?
Your Enemy?

The likelihood of us thinking about our family,
Is so much lower…
Which brings up another thought,

Are we taking our family members for granted?

Do we always expect dinner to be ready @ Home?
Do we always expect pocket money to be given,
Do we always expects the TV remote to be handed over so that we can catch our favourite shows?


Do we stay out late with friends instead of spending a little more time with our dad or mum?

I wonder,
Because I dun think I have done my part as a Son.
There are so many things I should have done but haven’t.
There are days that I take it that Things will be Ready.

My Mum needs that extra bit of love I have never gave her.
Something not commercial
Rather, something from the heart.

My Dad, whom I have grow to respect further and further,
Would be more like an advisor,
And someone I would talk to when a problem arises.

Til the Urge to blog again.

Xiaoqiang OFF!!

Saturday, June 07, 2008

I’m not so sure why,
But it seems that doing my National Service again,
Gave me the clearest indication,
That although I do not have ill feelings about the SYSTEM,
Nor do I have the tendency to evade all arrows send from the top,
Or there is the slightest sign that I dislike the training and lesson,
I am very certain of 1 thing,
That I am not suited to pursue a military career.
Aka, Sign On as a REGULAR.

That aside,
There isn’t very much happening for me.

Although in the past couple of weeks,
I have enjoyed catching up with some of my former Superiors,
And some NSmen whom I have enjoyed training,
Been clubbing a little more than I should.

I guess that’s about it for now.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Was having this conversation with a couple of colleagues @ camp.
We concluded, with evidence,

That most (not everyone), who are born after 1986,

Are more selfish in nature,
Are more sheltered by their parents,
Are educated in schools who do not corporal punish them,
Are not necessary smart, but acts as if they knew everything,
Are definitely more pampered by their parents,
Are behaving as if the world owes them a living
Are born with keypads @ their finger tips, constantly on MSN, SMS
Are tactless in their comments, and usually offensive in nature.
Are able to start an argument by themselves.
Are keeping contacts with friends through social networking website rather than over coffee.

And the list can GO ON & ON.

That’s my honest opinion,
Not meant to have a BIAS view on this group of people.

But as compared to anyone born,
Say between 1980 to 1985,

We grew up in an age,
Where our parents let us stay with our grandparents,
And that’s where we could at least take up the Dialects.

We go to school,
Where teachers are willing to take out the cane to whip our lazy asses,
Whenever we are in-attentive in class.

We work part-time,
Mostly to cover our school fees, personal expenses,
Rather than to pay for new mobile phones and branded goods.

We made friends
@ playgrounds, playing soccer in the void decks.
Probably only have a few 10 cents on our legs to show off back then,

My point is,
I’m not sure if I can tolerate some of the RUBBISH,
Some of these youths in this particular group,
Who are so self-obsessed with their ‘assumed’ superiorities and abilities,
That I really hope some of them will wake up from their Virtual Worlds.
Coz I have seen too many cases of Big-headed people in various environments,
Acting as though they are the Kings and Queens of their miniature societies.

I needed an outlet to voice this matter…
That being done,
Shall proceed to my Kopi Session later.
Genuine meeting with Kakis…

Til I’m inspired !

Saturday, May 10, 2008

‘International’ Shutdown Day
May 3 2008 – Saturday

Can we really shut ourselves from the Digital World.
And that includes Internet, mobile communication, television and music.

I shall try the CHALLENGE myself.
Some time soon.

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Organizing my thoughts yet again,
since i have the time to do so.

Just found out that the PSC scholarship application,
Has over 2000 applicants,
With approx 60 to 80 places available.
Like Yes….I will get short-listed.


We get that everywhere.
Queuing up,
getting in line,
fighting for a piece of everything.

I think sometime in life,
We do certain things just for the sake of doing,
While on the other hand,
We willingly do some other things simply to follow the crowd.
Because the majority say so.
And everyone is doing so.

One instance,
Is perhaps setting up different profiles in different website.
The Friendster’s, Facebook’s, Myspace…

Let’s put it this way,
Maintaining a profile on sites like Facebook,
Which I recently became a member,
Is for some of us to keep in touch with all our friends,
And make new friends along the way.

Some of us are simply looking @ others’ information (stalker),
Viewing profiles of strangers (usually guys looking @ pretty ladies’ profiles)
I dun think Gals do that .... searching for good-looking guys' profiles
Or act like some tabloid journalist waiting in the wings for juicy gossips (busybody).
For Me,
I’m just adding friends, playing Poker, and a couple of games which interest me.

As for Friendster,
Let’s just keep it for the moment.
That's Old-School,
That's so 2002....

Got to Go...

Sunday, May 04, 2008

It’s been quite a while since I started writing.
I guess there wasn’t much happening,
More so,
I dun have the inspiration to blog,
There wasn’t much to write about anyway.
Been gathering my thought ever since…

Thinking of moving from the Xiaoqiang ‘era’
Change directions a little.
Maybe a different blog name will do.
Nothing fancy.

Done with studies @ NYP,
With the graduation in due time,
At least the last 3 years is pretty fruitful.

Now serving the Nation yet again,
The remainder of my National Service,
@ the same camp/unit where I was,
Some familiar faces still around,
But I’m disappt that there has not been any significant improvement.
And the changing of names, uniform alterations are only superficial.
Real improvement and a more efficient system should be in place.
At least I hope it was.

Have decided to carry a ‘going-through-the-motion’ attitude,
Get this over and done with,
And carry on to the next step in life.

That’s another thing to think carefully about.
That’s for another day.

Thoughts – Drained / Contemplating
Taste – Bitter / looking for more Inspiration.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

It's been a long long time.
i know.

will gather my thoughts for a little longer.
setting some things straight.

will blog again.

Monday, February 04, 2008

Haven't been Blogging for more than a month
'still lost in the woods'
will write again...

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24. (but acts 14)

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Free Spirit.

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One Weakness.

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